Untainted Lawyer

2008-06-14T03:13:00.000-07:00

I got to go on an awesome travel junket on Wednesday. I didn't think that a junior associate in a corporate law firm would get to do any travel, it seems I was wrong.

Even though we had a massive deal closing on Friday, work has been a little slow lately. As such, I was updated my Facebook profile at work when I received an email from my supervising partner.

The partners email was brief, witty and pertinent. Well, maybe not witty, it read: "I may need you to go to fly interstate tomorrow to collect some documents. Check with me this afternoon."

Shortly after lunch the partner decided that I needed to fly that night, stay over night and fly back to work in the morning. I am glad that I have no life to speak of. If I had made plans for Wednesday night, I would have had to cancel them.

It is all very strange, flying me interstate seems to be the most inefficient way of transporting documents. The whole process would have been amazingly expensive for the client, with the cost of flying me interstate, putting me up in the Crown Hotel, paying for my meals and taxis, not to mention the cost of my time (I was billing the client for the whole trip). I imagine that a premium insured express courier service would have cost about half the price.

I thought it was best not to raise this point with the partner, and the Crown Hotel was just as lovely as I had hoped.

Everyone I have spoken to subsequently agrees that a courier would have been much cheaper and far more reliable. In my opinion, trusting me with a briefcase of documents that are worth millions of dollars is perhaps the most stupid thing my law firm has ever done. It seems that the whole trip may have just been a junket, a kind of stunt to buy my loyalty to the firm.

I don't respond to stunts, if that's what it was. That said, I am very committed to working hard and doing my best to promote my wonderful firm.

The omelettes and French toast at the buffet breakfast were outstanding.

2008-05-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

Very exciting, I graduated from law school on Friday! All of the combined law students graduated from the university Great Hall, a large sandstone room with high ceilings, oil paintings and stained glass windows. A perfect place for us all to congratulate ourselves on being masters of the universe. It seems that the best way to feel important is to dress up in mysterious gowns with matching black mortar board hats.

The graduation speech was given by a prominent 50-something female judge. She gave a run down of her experiences in the legal profession and the sexism she faced along the way, with male partners condescendingly referring to her as "dear". She gave a candid overview of the risks and challenges facing members of the legal profession, which is one of the four traditional professions: law, medicine, divinity and the military. She outlined the conflict that we will face as lawyers, between billable hours and the other things in life like family, friends, other interests, and moral values.

After the ceremony I had brunch at a funky little restaurant cafe with my mum, grandmas, and brothers and sisters. At about 2pm, after a long brunch, the drinking festivities began in earnest. I started drinking with one of my best friends at the Belgian Beer Cafe, a dangerous way to begin, each Belgian beer was around 8.7% alcohol/volume. From there we went to the main graduate party and the drinking continued until early into the morning. And who ever said that lawyers are alcoholics?

During the party I got to talking with another graduate who has taken a job at one of the top big city law firms. This particular law firm was involved in a paper shredding scandal several years ago, and I went to great lengths to bring "paper shredding" into the conversation at every opportunity. Interestingly, the girl informed me that there is a big box of documents on the top shelf of the cupboards in her office labelled "shredding". It seems that old habits die hard.

2008-05-17T19:15:00.000-07:00

All of the clients that I am working for at the moment are private equity firms. What that means is that they have large amounts of money and are looking for attractive investment opportunities. Private equity firms often get a lot of their money from superannuation or 401K funds.

In 2005 and 2006, before the sub-prime mortgage crisis hit, private equity was the most glamorous kind of legal work to be involved with. It helps to remember that whenever anyone talks about glamorous business, what they really mean is there is shit loads of money to be made, excuse my French.

To make the incredibly high returns on their money, private equity firms borrow large amounts of relatively cheap money from banks. They target under performing businesses that have strong and steady cash flows that can be used to pay back the banks. They buy with a view to hold for 3 to 5 years, and then sell the business to recover their money and, hopefully, their profits.

The key to this business model is the availability of large amounts of cheap money from banks. The problem now is that the money has dried up. Two years ago a private equity firm could borrow 80% of the purchase price for a business from a bank. They are now lucky if they can borrow 50% of the purchase price. So, there are less deals being done and consequently, less legal work.

There is still legal work to be done for private equity firms that are looking to sell businesses that they acquired 3 to 5 years ago. Two years ago my group worked mainly for buyers of businesses, we now act primarily for people who are looking to sell.

I had to go to the offices of one of our private equity clients this week to collect some signed documents. It was an interesting experience, I had never been to the offices of a private equity firm before. I entered our clients building and walked to the ground floor reception to check which floor I needed to go to. I scanned the board that lists the firms in the building and the corresponding floor numbers. Our client wasn't there.

I told the man behind the desk that I was looking for Firm X. He smiled, "level 45, use the second set of elevators". I alighted from the lift and was confronted with the door to my clients' offices. A locked glass automatic sliding door with security intercom. It seems they don't want visitors.

Ludicrous, on the other side of the glass door was a massive corporate logo affixed to polished mahogany wall. As if they are keen to remind themselves of each morning when they enter the office that they are indeed masters of the universe.

The receptionist buzzed me in and as I entered I instictively looked around for a reception desk. There was none. I found myself in a small closed room with a door at either end. Two modern reclining designer leather chairs sat in the middle of the room. No table, no magazines, no newspapers. I couldn't decide whether I should sit down, or whether the chairs were merely for decoration purposes.

My pondering was cut short when a door at one end of the room opened. I polite and very business like woman appeared, she handed me an envelope and then promptly disappeared from the mysterious place from which she had come.

Private equity firms, mysterious clients indeed.

2008-05-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

Monday morning I got into the office early. I’m not a morning person, but I’ve discovered that it’s best to come in early.

By heading in early you can beat peak hour, you save 30 minutes right there. My charge out rate is over $200 per hour, so in a sense I’m saving over a hundred dollars by getting in early.

Well, it’s not like I see any of the money that the firm bills clients. The partners are the ones who are making all of the money.

I hope they appreciate my efforts in waking up early…

All of the junior lawyers get into the office early. This makes it extremely hard to stand out. You have to be exceptional just to be run of the mill.

Waking up early also avoids the panicked feeling that starts to build when peak hour buses start arriving at the bus stop already full. I can’t afford to be late. I can’t afford to make a bad impression.

Nine times out of ten the partners don’t call on you first thing in the morning. Of course, that means that ten percent chance that they will.

Standing at the bus stop, running late, clock ticking by. I just know that today will be the day that the partner needs me to do an urgent piece of work that was supposed to go out to the client yesterday afternoon.

In short, it’s best to get in early.

But I digress…

So, Monday morning I got into the office early. I logged into outlook first thing to check whether I had been sent any urgent instructions from my supervising partner over night.

Luckily, I hadn’t. But I did have one email.

An email had been sent around to all of the lawyers in our firm at 11pm the night before (Sunday night). I read the email, "Human Resources have organised a lunch time professional development session for this Friday entitled ‘Stress Less: an introduction to meditation’. The session is limited to 30 participants."

Perfect, this is exactly what I need. I hurriedly clicked the button to register for the session. Ah, I could just feel the anticipatory positive relaxing vibes washing over me. This is exactly what I need.

A moment after clicking the button, a pop-up box comes up on my screen. "We regret to inform you that the PD session that you have tried to register for is full. Please send us an email if you would like to be placed on a reserve list."

Stunned surprise! I can feel my anxiety levels starting to rise.

2008-04-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

Phew, what a tough week! Two days of training on Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by a public holiday on Friday. Thursday was also a write-off. It seems that when you're not in the office for two days running, the partners forget that you exist. It's nice to have become a valued member of the team.

Whatever happened to equal opportunity? For the two day training session, which was only for junior associates (or JAs as they call them), the firm flew all the JAs from our partner office into town and put them up in the 5 star hotel across the road from our building.

Admittedly, it would be a little difficult to justify putting the local JAs up in the hotel as well. To solve this inequitable situation, I think the training should have taken place in some obscure location that was equally inconvenient for both offices. At least then everyone could have enjoyed a short mid-week junket.

The term 'all day training' is JA code for 'all meals provided'. They have to rope us in somehow. And the great thing about meals at a corporate law firm is that corporate lawyers are the pickiest people in the world.

Anything less than the very best results in a string of whingeing and complaints. Consequently, we enjoy silver service.

Breakfast consisted of bacon & egg rolls, muffins, fruit, muesli, OJ, tea and coffee. For lunch we were served green curry chicken, fresh rolls, salad, tea, coffee and soft drinks. Oh, and I forgot about the gourmet cakes for morning tea, and the fruit platter for afternoon tea.

I really do love learning!

2008-04-21T05:26:00.000-07:00

Tedious melancholy of insidious intent. I dived headlong into a pile of documents and have spent the whole morning helping on a due diligence task.

I spent seven years at university, what with a double degree and honours. I have spent hours thinking about difficult hypothetical legal problems that pose little resemblance to the real world. Somehow, I believed this was preparation for the real world.

One of my tasks today was to go through a pile of 30 documents and check which ones have missing or photocopied signatures. They should have taught a class at law school on perseverance in the face of boredom, it would have proved useful…

That said, things are starting to become challenging now. Without notice, my supervising partner asks me a question (gives me an instruction) that needs to be answered (obeyed) within the hour. A question from a partner generally opens Pandora's box, with the initial question leading to a series of other more difficult questions which in turn led to other doubts, suspicions and uncertainties.

The pain of thinking and hard work is something that I had grown unacquainted with at university *sigh* I shouldn’t have had those two glasses of champagne and scotch on the rocks last night.

2008-04-21T04:23:00.000-07:00

I won’t apologise for not writing sooner. Well, ordinarily I would, but I have learnt better. If you do something good, make a point of it; if you make a mistake, explain it away. Or better yet, exclude it from the scope of your due diligence analysis.

The last three weeks seem to have flown by. The first week was very pretty easy going. Three days of training, and then two days of light tasks interspersed with familiarising myself with the stationary cupboard. The novelty of free pens hadn’t yet worn thin.

The second week was also fairly light on. The sub-prime mortgage crisis might have had something to do with this. I’ve heard of new grads working twelve hour days in their second week before, so I guess I should count my lucky stars that the investment banking industry lost all those hundreds of billions.

Start of week three and the work suddenly started rolling in. Two pieces of work hit my desk almost the moment I sat down in my office. Well, office is the wrong word. I sit in a pod with another grad. A pod is basically a half size office with no door.

The great thing about our pod is that we have views out over the harbour and gardens. The downside is that I can hear anyone who coughs on my side of the building. Small price to pay, I guess...

Well, no, pretty damn annoying, actually!

I think the management consultant who invented the ‘open door’ policy never expected people to actually start removing doors from offices. Open communication is one thing, but no peace and quiet is quite another entirely.

So, anyway, two pieces of work hit my desk and by lunch time I have six things due by the next morning. Gulp!

During one of our training sessions, HR went to some lengths to explain to us that “it’s okay to say ‘no’ to work.” With all due respect, I say "Bull Shit to that"!

You heard me!

As a junior lawyer, my clients are the senior associates and partners in my group. You can’t turn clients away unless you have a really good reason. They'll just go to another junior lawyer, and who knows if they'll come back.

Well, it’s not quite like this, but you get the idea. It makes sense to take a lot of work and do it well. A good reputation is hard to build.

2008-04-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day at work. I intended to write something yesterday, but I ended up having drinks with some of the other grads and then meeting another friend for pizza. I figure I have to make the most of it before the hard work sets in.

I was eager to make a good impression on my first day, so I woke up early and was in the city by 8.20am, this was surely some kind of record. Before heading to reception, I called one of my friends who did the clerkship with me last summer to see if she was already in the building. She was still on the train, 5 minutes away, we agreed meet at the quaint little coffee shop around the corner before heading upstairs.

Coffee in hand, we stepped into the reception at around 8.59am, just in the nick of time, and were pointed in the direction of a small mahogany conference room. I was pleased to discover that we were not the last ones to arrive. There are seven of us starting as grads this week, which is a relatively small number. But, I guess this kind of makes sense when you consider that there are two different intake times during the year and that many of the people who get offers go travelling overseas, decide to become bankers or consultants or spend a year being judge’s associate before coming on board.

To start the day of training, the firm chairman and the managing partner came to speak to us. They spoke at length about firm culture, gave a couple of amusing anecdotes and tried to distil for us some of the lessons they had learnt about the qualities that go towards making a good lawyer and a successful legal career. Both men were incredibly interesting to listen to and very charismatic. Considering that these are both men who bill out to clients at umpteen hundred dollars an hour, their taking time to speak with us was the ultimate blandishment, the perfect gesture of good will and an unforgettable welcome to the firm.

We then had an ice breaking session, which turned out to be a kind of speed networking. We were broken into pairs, given examples of questions we should ask and then given five minutes to learn about our partner and report back to the group. It was fun because being babied by HR made me feel like I was back in year six. Although, had I eaten a slightly different breakfast, I could have found it pretty patronising. Does HR not think that we learnt any social skills since primary school?

After that, we discussed career path expectations, the qualities that successful lawyers possess and, most importantly, they handed out booklets that contained, among other things, the details of our starting salary. It would, of course, be rude to talk numbers … but, let’s just say, the starting salary has gone up handsomely on last year’s figure. Apparently, the pay rise is something to do with particularly strong competition in the market for junior lawyers. I didn’t ask too many questions.

Good news! I mentioned to the HR consultant running our induction that I still didn’t know which group I was starting in. The consultant responded with a well polished look of surprise and pulled out a list. I am going to be working in Mergers and Acquisitions. I am so excited, this is exactly where I wanted to be and I couldn’t be happier. Two of the other graduates are also starting in M&A with me, which should be good because it means we can work together and help each other out when we have no clue what we are doing.

Each of us has been allocated a supervising partner, a buddy and a secretary. All of the buddies are relatively junior lawyers who will hopefully be able to answer even our most stupid questions and thereby help to ease us into the firm. Around midday, our buddies took us out for a long lunch, which was a very nice touch. The restaurant was beautiful and, just to indicate how expensive it was, it was one of those ridiculous restaurants that has a minimum order of $50 per person. I normally balk at paying $5 for lunch, but perhaps that says more about me than about this restaurant. There was an element of doubt about who would be paying for the lunch. But I wasn’t all that worried, the Junior Associates were ordering up big, so I followed suit. One of the Junior Associates put the bill on her shiny black corporate credit card. I’m so excited becuase I will be getting one of these shiny black pieces of plastic within the next couple of weeks. I can use it to pay for taxis, corporate lunches and other partner approved paraphernalia.

The gossip begins! After work, a couple of us went down the road for some drinks. We were reminiscing about the good old times and one of the grads told us that last year he saw one of the very senior partners, who was drunk at one of the Christmas parties, walk up to one of the summer clerks and say, “you mean nothing to me!” It’s almost so disgraceful that it’s funny! Points for honesty, I guess.

The training finishes on Wednesday. I am a little apprehensive about being thrown in the deep end on Thursday. I excelled at law school but, the reality is, I don’t know the first thing about being a real lawyer. How hard could it be?

2008-03-30T03:31:00.000-07:00

Struck with a faint terror! I start work tomorrow and, despite repeated efforts, I don’t know which practice group I’m starting in.

My preference is for mergers and acquisitions. But, with the credit crunch and the end of the private equity boom, maybe they just wont need anybody.

Adding to my fear, is my recently acquired knowledge that things are not always as I perceive them, nor do my plans always turn out as expected.

Mid last year, I was in London visiting a friend of mine who is working there as an options trader.

Trading is no child’s game. All the trading happens in real time, which means that the slightest slip of the finger can lose you thousands. Luckily, my friend is very good at what he does.

Being a successful trader in London opens up an amazing world of opportunity. British traders earn a lot of money, in pounds, and because the market is only open from 10 ’till 4, they also have time to enjoy it.

London is the most happening metropolis in the world, rivalled perhaps only by New York. Magnificent buildings, fine food, the latest fashions, fast cars, beautiful women. Anything can happen in London. At least, that is, if you are a young wealthy options trader, or a young wealthy option trader’s friend.

But I digress…

I completed my law degree with an exchange semester in Hamburg and needed to catch a flight from London. Not being a wealthy options trader, I booked the cheapest, dirtiest Ryan Air flight from London (Stansted) to Hamburg (Luebeck).

Excited to be on my way, I contacted my flat mate to tell him that I would shortly be flying into Hamburg. He informed me that a taxi from the airport would only set me back around 20 euros. What a bargain, that’s only about 15 pounds.

Jumping in a taxi outside Hamburg (Luebeck) airport I told the man my address. "In Hamburg?" asked the driver. I was confused that he needed to clarify this point, "yes, of course, Hamburg". Hamburg is the second wealthiest city in the EU, after London, and as the taxi pulled away from the small rural semi neglected airport, I failed to connect the dots.

As the fair meter ticked by, I stared blissfully out of the window as we sped along a deserted German autobahn.

As the meter hit 40 euros and the autobahn streched out into the night, I was struck by a sinking feeling which slowly began to grow. I leaned forwards hopefully, "are we nearly there?" The driver looked pleased, and answered "yes, we are almost half way."

I felt violated, not to mention a little stupid. I had wanted to fly from London to Hamburg and had unwittingly flown from Stansted to Luebeck.

I hope I didn’t forget to pay attention to the size eight words in brackets next to my job description, M & A lawyer (general office lap dog and coffee boy).

2008-03-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

So completely confused! I need to buy a new pair of black shoes and a couple of business shirts before I start work on Monday.

This sounds easy enough, so today I went shopping. I haven’t set foot in a department store for at least a year and I normally don’t dare go shopping without a female friend or another experienced guide.

Today, I was all alone...

I walked into the local department store which, for some reason, opens straight into the cosmetics section. Lawyers can be pretty vain and pretentious but, as far as I’m aware, male lawyers haven't starting wearing make up, not yet anyway.

I navigated my way through a jungle of electric appliances, women’s lingerie and designer pens. Finally, I stumbled upon the men’s shoe section.

At this point, I was so completely disorientated that I probably would have purchased the first pair of shoes the salesperson gave me. Luckily, the two staff members behind the counter were having an in-depth discussion about barcodes and paid me no attention. This gave me some time to regain my senses.

Knowing nothing about the current fashions, I had to rely on my own instincts and the recommendations of a 60-something saleswoman, who at some point had materialised from under a pile of shoe boxes.

Round toe or square? Leather sole or rubber? Modern style or conservative? Comfortable feel or impressive look? How much should I be willing to pay? These and other questions raced through my mind, as it dawned on me that I was completely out of my depth. I felt an irresistible urge to escape.

I was mentally exhausted but I slowly managed to make some progress and narrowed it down to a choice between two pairs of shoes. This was one of life’s big decisions ...

I put the shoes on hold for an hour to give me time to decide and went for a walk to collect my thoughts. I bought some lunch, sat down in the food court and called mum.

I’m a little bit scared. The whole shoe shopping fiasco has rocked my nerves. I start work on Monday and being a corporate lawyer is likely to be slightly more difficult than shopping for shoes.

2008-03-26T18:57:00.001-07:00

Last night I went to the Grand Hotel to play trivia with a couple of friends I made back in my Economics days. The trivia night had a China/Olympics theme and our team name was “The ‘Long Jump’ Forward”. Pretty good, no?

There were prizes for the best team names, but apparently ours was a little too intellectual for the trivia host and the prize was awarded to “Dude where’s my Dalai Lama”. Totally robbed!

I realise that lawyers are supposed to be extremely knowledgeable and have impressive general knowledge, but I am atrociously bad at trivia. My contribution to the team for the night consisted of guessing names of Weird Al Yankovic songs. I hope my performance in trivia is not an omen for my soon to be nascent career as a lawyer.

2008-03-26T18:44:00.001-07:00

Exciting news! It's only four days to go until I start my first full time job in a big city corporate law firm. I have spent the last week making the most of my freedom.

Last week I played poker with a couple of friends, there were six of us in all. We ordered in 6 large greasy pizzas, two rolls of garlic bread, a good amount of coke and a couple of hookers. I’m kidding about the hookers … but seriously!

I was a little scared because one of the other players there claimed to have played poker professionally at one of the big city casino, where they have a $500 minimum buy in. Not to worry, luckily I have studied Matt Damon’s performance in Rounders quite carefully; it’s all about grinding it out. After biding my time and using my very best poker face, I made a deceptive preflop raise with eight-nine suited and managed to knock out one of my friends.

I walked away at the end of the night with a tidy $50 win. All in a nights work!

2008-03-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

A young boy with an armful of magazines stepped out into the traffic as we pulled up at the first set of traffic lights. He carried a bunch of the most popular Indian magazines; India Today, Sport Star and Bollywood News Daily.

There were a dozen rickshaws and cars sprawled at the traffic lights. Ignoring these, the boy made a direct line towards the white man sitting absent-mindedly in the back seat of a black and yellow Padmini taxi.

Seeing him approach, I tried to wind up the window, but the window winder was broken, leaving me permanently exposed.

Spreading his wares in front of me, the boy made his spiel in broken English and looked for any sign of interest. Upon showing a vague glimmer of interest in his solitary Time magazine, he folded up the others and offered me the magazine, quoting an inflated but still attractive price. Not having intended to buy a magazine, I refused.

Sensing my hesitation, the boy persisted.

Just as I was about to reiterate my adamant refusal for the umpteenth time, the lights went green, the engines roared, the boy halved his initial offer price, I fumbled for my wallet, and we swapped money for magazine just as the taxi pulled away from the lights. I glanced back to see the boy scramble back to the side walk just in time to avoid an oncoming bus.

The last time I had been blown away by the Indian entrepreneurial spirit had been two years earlier in the foothills of the Himilayas.

My friend and I had decided to do a day trek from Dharamsala to Triund, which is a scenic point sitting at an altitude of around 3000 metres. When we arrived, exhausted, we were surprised and delighted to find a little lean-to hut out of which a wrinkled Tibetan man sold Chai tea, Mars Bars, Coke, Limca and packets of Parle-G biscuits.

At a time when the US is reeling from the impacts of a sub-prime mortgage crisis and the crash on Wall Street, it is reassuring to know that, in India, the heart of the entrepreneurial spirit continues to beat as strongly as ever.

2008-03-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

My taxi sped from the airport under the power of its rubber band engine. From what I can tell, Bombay's black and yellow Padmini taxi fleet was last updated by the British in the 1940's.

This particular taxi did not have indicators and the driver deftly compensated for this fact with some agile manoeuvring and a very liberal use of the horn.

On Indian roads, the law of the jungle applies. Motor vehicles share the roads with camels, horses, elephants, push carts and people. Your right of way is not determined by rules or lane markings, but by the size of your vehicle; rickshaws give way to cars, cars give way to buses, and everyone gives way to elephants.

I felt a rush of nervous excitement as we wove in and out of traffic and more often than not drove on the wrong side of the road. I started to wonder at my driver's ability to narrowly escape death at every turn.

The dash board of the taxi was plastered with an amazingly technicoloured display of pictures and statues of the driver's four favourite gods. Ganesh (the elephant god of good fortune), Lakshmi (the goddess of wealth), Vishnu (the all important blue four armed god of preservation) and Hanuman (a monkey god whose special powers I haven't yet been able to ascertain).

With over 100 million gods to choose from, each having their own special power, each one coming in its own size, shape, colour and animal form, Hinduism certainly seems a lot more fun than western religion. A kind of religious choose your own adventure, Hinduism has cornered the religious marketplace in India by providing a plurality of gods which cater to the varying personal preferences of over a billion souls.

I started to relax into the back seat, we had an ample amount of spiritual protection.

2008-03-16T02:52:00.000-07:00

Before returning home from Europe I flew to India to travel around for a couple of weeks and enjoy my exchange rate superiority. While I was in Germany I was lucky enough to become friends with an Indian girl who I was able to stay with when I arrived in Bombay. This allowed me to smooth the transition from travelling in the clean, ordered, safe and predictable cities of Europe to the dirty, vibrant, sometimes dicey and always chaotic India.

Immediately upon alighting from the plane at Bombay airport, I was struck by the very distinct aroma of curry. My theory is that they spray the airport down with curry powder, so as to induce a nostalgia in the hearts of departing locals and create an exotic impression on foreigners arriving in India for the first time. However, it could just be an attempt to mask the smell of dirt and pollution that permeates the surrounding streets of Bombay.

Upon leaving the airport building, an extremely skinny Indian man dressed all in white asked to carry my bag, "I am here to help with your bags. I am Amish, what is your good name sir?" I thanked Amish for his willing assistance but informed him that I could manage quite well on my own. "Oh sir, but I insist, it is my job." ...

I succumbed to Amish's persistence and allowed him to hold my bag while I bought a ticket at the government taxi office. Although trolleys were available, Amish insisted on carrying my heavy pack to the taxi. I guess he hoped that I would reward him with a tip, the size of which would be directly proportional to the intensity of his physical exertions.

I jumped into the back seat of the taxi, Amish stood at my window with sheepish eyes, "will you give me some good luck sir? A ten pound note for good luck?!"

Luckily, I had been to India before or I might have fallen for this cunning ploy. To illustrate the absurdity of Amish's request, it should be borne in mind that the median annual salary of a web designer in Bombay in 2006 was around £1,820 (Pay Scale). For those of you who are mathematically challenged, that works out to around £7.50 per day.

I was amused to learn later that the Indian name Amish means 'honest', his parents had obviously had a healthy sense of irony.

2008-03-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

Having arrived back from my European travels a couple of weeks ago, I am looking forward to starting as a graduate lawyer in two weeks time. My parents are obviously excited about the prospect of me getting my first real job and earning money.

With my new job comes the privilege of paying board to live at home. But I like to look on the bright side, the board I will have to pay is less than half of what I would have to pay in rent if I move out of home and I don't have to pay for utilities or food. Seeing as I will have more money than I know what to do with, and in all likelihood more money than I will have time to spend, it is fair that I pay my way now that I will have the money to do it.

Having to pay board will provide the much needed incentive to leave home and strike out on my own. I suppose if I am going to learn to fly, I have to be pushed out of the nest sooner rather than later.

It's not that I want to pay more for accommodation and spend more time and effort on menial tasks, but I can imagine going down to lunch with my fellow grads in our first week of training and one of them will inevitably ask "oh, that's a really great sandwich you've got there, did you make it yourself?" This question will most likely be followed by an awkward silence, there is no good way of answering that question without lying. My mum made it for me? I got it from home? I found it in the kitchen? It was in the paper bag with my name on it? Of course, I could continue to live at home and just start making my own sandwiches.